My Stories

Do you know when to walk Away?

Do not judge a book by its cover.. this was a very awkward day

I know I know its been a Long long time…. 
So much has been happening, I wouldn’t know where to start, however Ill start with this…

I share this in the group today and Julia said she looks forward to hearing the whole story….

So here it is…

When my marriage broke down, I connected with someone, who wow, blew me away on our first communication. He seemed to be one of those ‘nights in shining armour’

We had met at school, and re connected on the internet some 30 years later. I’d had a crush on this guy when I was 15 and I thought it was unreciprocated, however he had liked me, just typical man had not done anything about it. 

So after connecting first via the internet, on my next trip back to the UK, we connected in real life and everything ‘seemed’ wonderful….

We had a long distance relationship for 3 years and he would promise to move to NZ from the UK

However, he broke my heart,  as they do. However this is not what this story is about. 

So we split, he moved on with someone else very quickly and that as they say is that.

During the 3 years, we were together, I had glimpses of the less than perfect human being he was. The flair ups of his temper, yet as we do, I ignored all the red flags .He was and I would call him ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ he could be so lovely and then so nasty.

After we broke up, We kept in touch and remained friends. He even picked me up from the airport when I returned to the UK. There was nothing between us, however there was ‘something’ we once again had a connection.

He invited me down to stay with him 5 hours away from where I was in S Wales.

Now this is where it gets interesting..

I finally decided to take the plunge and drive down to see him about 3 months after I’d first arrived back in the UK

On my journey down South, hes in touch with me by texting, asking me to hurry as we’re going out once I arrive.  The last thing I want to do after a 5 hour journey is go out… however, I seem to have no choice in the matter….

Fast forward – I arrive, have a quick cup of tea and he bundles me in the car. As we’re driving I ask more questions about where we are going..

Turns out, we’re meeting a lady friend of his – on further questions – its his ex girlfriend!!…WTF!!

This makes me feel a tad uneasy I’ve just driven 5 miles to spend time with a friend and our first night we’re off to catch up with ANOTHer ex girlfriend (not forgetting Im also an ex GF)

We arrive at the ladies house.  She seems very nice however ,not at all what I expected.  She’s much older than us.  As the evening progresses it becomes obvious to me, that whilst they are ex’s, there is still something between them and I feel like the third wheel… (if that doesn’t translate for you, its like being the third person on a date)

The whole evening, I felt like an outsider… this is NOT what I had imagined…

The icing on the cake was when I returned from the ladies loos, during our dinner (yes all 3 of us, how cute! not!! ) and they were holding hands on the table…. I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.

The interesting thing was ,I really liked this woman, we had a lot in common.

Finally the evening came to a close, we dropped his ex off and proceeded to drive back to his house .A row developed, i was in tears, he was shouting at me, accusing me of being jealous etc.. (nice)…It was horrendous. I don’t remember ever being treated so badly before in my life.

The atmosphere changed between us. Any connection we had was gone.

The next morning, we had planned a drive around Dartmoor close to where he lived. This is where that photo was taken. It was a surreal experience driving with someone you had previously been so in love with and now we were like strangers. So awkward, who was this man? it wasn’t a nice day at all.

This man was someone who had once seen me across the road, opened car doors for me, in short been everything I thought I wanted. Now he was cold, walking ahead of me…. my mind was made up.

The next day, as I came downstairs to find him looking at a map planning our day trip. I braced myself. I had no qualms about my choice, I wanted to get out of this house as soon as I could

“Hey’ I said calmly and politely, though my heart was nearly leaping out of my chest. ‘Look, I’ve taken enough of your time, Im going to continue my travels on my own from here on’ ‘thanks its been great’ I said, through gritted teeth when I really wanted to strangle him.

I don’t remember his response. Other than him reminding me, of the man I used to know, by going to the shop and getting me some snacks for my journey, there wasn’t much else to say.

How dare he treat me the way he had over the past 24 hours. I could do this journey without him. There was no way I was going to spend another minute with this person who thought it was Ok to be so cold, rude, heartless to me. I deserved better and I was GIVING MYSELF better.

I had a fantastic time on my solo adventures . I got lost, lost signal…. had an absolute blast…

Showed myself what I WAS capable of and how to value myself enough to walk away.

We’ve never been in touch since, its about 6 years. The fact that hes never reached out to apologise for his behaviour says even more about him.

Its So important that we realise how valuable we are. How Special we are.

I watched ‘Maid’ recently on Netflix and there was more than a little bit of this man in her boyfriend. The temper and blaming me for his bad behaviour. Remember Love yourself enough to walk away from anyone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve.

If you’d like to know more about me and what I do, please drop me a line. I’d be happy to have a chat and see how I can help you