My Stories

Its No one Else’s Job to Love you, thats your Job – Byrone Katie

Its No One Else’s Job to Love/Like You, thats Your Job, Byrone Katie..

I shared this in my tribe, I thought I would share with you too.

… As I stared at my computer, my eyes began to sting… there was not much more of this I could take.

…13 years ago, Just over a year ago, one of my sisters had suddenly passed away.

I was in New Zealand, she had been in the UK. For various reasons, we (my two kids and myself) decided not to go back to the UK immediately, instead we would go for xmas)

…Lots of this time is a blur, understandably I was in a lot of shock. I do remember 6 weeks after hearing about my sister, my job was disestablished. This was to be my Annus horribilus, just like the Queen.

Fast forward a few months. We had been back to the UK, and returned to NZ.

… I was given a new job, that I was not in the right mindset for. It was a very fast, busy job. Way too much for me to handle in my vulnerable state.

… I was heartbroken. I had developed some health issues, both connected to my sister’s passing and due to the stress. I was going to the hospital every few months.

Then, the inconceivable happened. The powers that be in my new job, started to bully me. Yes.. to add weight onto everything else.

…Every few months, they; the HR manager (who told me quite honestly, that she did not like me, she’d looked at my file for the year previously, did not like what she saw, and was going to be ‘watching me very closely’) and my two line managers, would call me into a room and find fault with my work..

…Ill never forget one particular meeting

‘When anyone out there, asks you to do something, you will jump and you will ask ‘how high’ and you will do whatever they need of you’..

… I was so broken at this stage.

…I would just sit there, incredulous that the two male managers would sit there and be witness to this ‘bullying’ .

This went on from February to December. The year after my sister passed.

…I lost weight, I couldn’t eat, I would cry myself to sleep and wake up with panic attacks.

Could life get any worse?

…So there I was looking at my computer, the email that had just come in. It wasn’t ‘official’ but I could tell by what it said, they were starting disciplinary action against me.

…I got up, looked at my two colleagues, who had been there as support all through this and walked out of the building, where I cried my eyes out. They followed me outside.

…Fast forward a few weeks…. the worm began to turn.

The email has given me a date and time that they wanted to meet with me to go over the last year.

Instead.. I gathered all the emotional strength that had depleted me over the last year, and put a response together.

…how badly, they had treated me.
.. how the two managers had sat there and watched
… after everything I had been through, they thought it was appropriate to treat me like this

…This was appalling

I remember standing up in that meeting, shaking and reading this out to them.

…I told them, I could take a Personal Grievance, or they could pay me what I was asking for.

i hoped no body ever went through this again (but of course this happens all the time)

I trembled as I read it, the tears weren’t far from my eyes, I don’t remember if I cried but I do remember reading it out and then leaving the room.

Phew,
OMG, OMG, OMG
I could dance on the ceiling!!

.. A whole weight was off my shoulders. I felt soo good. I didn’t care what happened after that .I had told them.

I was OUTA there !!

This was to be the start of a new life for me.

…The next few days, were nerve racking, waiting for their response, but I also knew, that whatever happened, I was out of there in the next few days.

…They agreed to pay me what I asked for and I was to leave in a matter of days.

I wish on reflection, I’d had the ‘balls’ to take them to court. I read many years later, of a case very similar to mine, in NZ again, where the girl took them to court and won.

Some days later, my manager called me into his office. . He was all sweetness and light, and in reality, I wanted to hit him.

Seriously I did.

He was a good looking guy, who thought he was the bee’s knee’s and yet he’d sat there month after month whilst ‘Betty’ (not her real name) had bullied me and he’d said nothing.

People like this are as bad as the bully in my book.

“Helen, we’d love to throw you a leaving do’… he smiled ‘WTF’ I silently thought. I was just amazed

So a few days later, a ‘nice’ morning tea was put on for me.. and everyone stood around whilst I was given a nice present and farewelled. It was excuse the french ‘F…ridiculous’…

I walked away from that job. A different person. It was one of the worst/best things to happen to me.

Thats exactly what challenges are, lessons to learn from.

I had been into personal development before that, but this was to propel me Even more into it. I wanted to prevent as many other women going through this as I could.

Thats why I started BeDeliciouslyFree and now Empowering You to BeDeliciouslyFree.

DKNY BeDelicious was a perfume I used to wear and loved it and Free is how I feel, Im still a WIP, but Im free from other people’s judgement of me.

Over the years, I”ve gone my natural ‘white’, I’ve shaved the side of my head. I’ve had my nose pierced. I’ve received disparaging comments about it All.

F O!!..
Jog On…
..I don’t care,
…its MY hair,
…its My Body…
…Ill do what I want,
…thank you for your opinion.
I LOVE me !!

I help other women to be the same. Be Yourself and Sod what anyone else thinks of you. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else. As long as You’re kind, considerable, compassionate.
Be You,
Be The best Version of You.

I realised the other day I have experienced bullying several times in my life.

In my personal life, at school. In other jobs.

People ask me ‘how come you’re so strong?” I guess its because of the sh*t I’ve been through.
We have a CHOICE, to RISE Up and take control or to let it bury us, and become afraid and fearful.

I’ve also discovered, not everyone likes me, because Im strong and Assertive. Im not perfect, I know that. No one is, but Im on the journey of becoming the best version of me.

I used to be aggressive and shout etc. I followed my father.

Then I learnt from Tony Robbins. Theres more than one way to skin a cat (how I hate that expression)

So I’m now Assertive.
Calm and Assertive and Passionate and again not everyone like that. Thats OK, I like that.

I have boundaries. Getting out of my comfort zone, is not always easy but so much easier than it used to be. I speak up, when others won’t.

Its not anyone else’s job to Like you, thats your Job!
Byrone Katie.

If any of this resonates with you, and you want my help.Pm me and lets talk.

xx